Don’t leave me behind
by xxneversayingxx
Summary: Post 1x10 "The day when new Chuck Bass who actually cared about something besides himself disappeared. This new Chuck who actually let himself do unacceptable and fall in love with a girl was just weak. And everyone knows Chuck Bass is anything but weak."
1. Chapter 1

Story: "Don't leave me behind"

Author: ana-12.

Pairing: Chuck/Blair

Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip girl or used songs.

Summary: Chuck is going to leave New York for good after he saw Blair with Nate. Will Blair see who she really has butterflies for and what if it's too late?

So this is my second fic this time not script style. I will update "Season of love" soon (btw check my poll about it) – I have it half done. Here is first chapter, please tell me what you think and if I should continue.

"_Even though she doesn't believe in love,  
He's determined to call her bluff  
Who could deny these butterflies?  
They're filling his gut."_

_"__ Remembering Sunday" __All time low_

-----------------------------------------

"_This thing between us, it's over. For good,"_

"_Blair, wait—I didn't mean—"_

"_Don't talk to me!"_

"_Blair!"_

Chuck stood at the stairs watching his Blair with Nate. Yeah if only she was mine. She never was. I'm pathetic. What was I thinking that she'll choose me over her Prince Charming? Like that would ever happen. Besides I'm Chuck Bass. I don't do this feelings thing. I screw over and leave behind. I don't care about a girl after I slept with her. Even if it's Blair Waldorf. Fuck who am I trying to fool? I have feelings for her, maybe always had. If I could only stop thinking about her. How she looked on stage at Victrola, how amazing was kissing her in my limo, feel her against me. And this time after her birthday party which lucky for me Nate missed was best in my life. I never felt something like this before. Butterflies. Too bad it seems like I can't murder them. Believe me I tried. So I let them stay and started meeting with Blair. It felt amazing – having her for myself, kissing and touching whenever I wanted to. Everything was going great and than of course Nathaniel had to decide that he missed her. Sure everyone knows he doesn't love her still he's always golden boy. Perfect son and boyfriend. _Perfect gentleman._ Of course Blair took him back. It was obvious since he came to see her after dance practice and interrupt us.

"_You were pretty hot out in Prince Theodore's arms today,"_

"_Is that what I am to you, just an accessory?" _

"_Next to him, yes… On me, you'd be so much more…" _

"_Yes, but I can't be on you, remember__? Cause you don't want Nate to find out and I don't want __anyone __to… __And you have to learn how to behave yourself first.__"_

"_Miss Blair, Mr. Nate for you!"_

"_I'll go see what he wants."_

"_What are you doing here, Nate?"_

" _Well, I... Look, after rehearsal I just, I couldn't stop __thinking about you__. __I mean, the ball's something we've talked about doing together since we were ten years old… And I've given you every reason to hate me."_

"_True. __Keep__ going__."_

"_And the prince… He's, you know, a great dancer and all… But is there any chance you'd go with me instead? For old times sake?"_

"_Nate, after what you pulled on my birthday, the only thing we should be doing together is moving on."_

"_Yeah, I know… Look, I haven't worn this sweater in like forever, and I just pulled it out today and I found this."_

"_It's my pin. I sued it there so you'd always have my heart on your sleeve. __The Prince__ will understand. Maybe we should go to the ball together... as friends."_

"_Absolutely."_

"_But only as friends."_

"_Just friends."_

After they ended taking details she came back and started where we ended. I so wanted to kiss her back, but I couldn't forget about their "as friends" date. So I had to get it over with. She has to choose one way or another and stop fooling with me.

"_So where were we?"_

"_You were saying that you'll go with me to the Cotillion."_

"_What? We talked about this Chuck. No one can find out."_

"_Why? Because it would ruin your perfect plan to get back together with Nate?"_

"_What? I'm not going to do that."_

"_Sure. So why did you agree?"_

"_To what?"_

"_To go with him."_

"_As friends."_

"_Please we both know how it will end."_

"_And how if I can ask?"_

"_You and Nathaniel will be back to your fake lovely couple before end of the ball."_

"_We won't."_

"_Yes you will. Well I'll go than. Good luck."_

"_Chuck wait. It's not true."_

"_Yeah? We both know this thing between us means nothing to you."_

"_No I…"_

"_You?... That's what I thought."_

Sure we made up – the sex was amazing – but I've should know than it was over. Actually it couldn't be over, because it wasn't really relationship. So what that I was right and it really meant nothing to her? She just doesn't like to be alone. So since Nate wasn't coming she was with me and now he's back I can go fuck myself. That's really it. I was fuck to her. Guess after all this years of acting like that it happened to me. Whatever. I was planning to go to Monaco soon so I can as well leave now. Not like someone will be worried, no one will probably notice. And maybe I should stay longer? Yes it's actually pretty good idea as what's the point in coming back? To watch Blair all over Nate or listen to his stories about their night? I'm sure I will soon forget about her there with all my pre-Blair life I always enjoyed in Monaco. I won't remember her smell, her hair, her lips. God I love her smell, her hair, her lips, her. I love her. I can't love her. She's Nate's. Always have always will be. With this thought I went to reception, took something to writing and wrote a letter. I'm not really letters type. I never wrote one before. Seems like Waldorf is first for many things. I was planning to leave it there, but I spotted Serena and Humphrey all in kisses leaving the hotel.

"Serena!"

"Chuck? Where's Blair?"

"With Nathaniel."

"Oh I'm sorry."

"Doesn't matter. Can you give her this?" I gave her my letter.

"What's that?"

"I had something to say to her since I don't think I'll see her soon."

"What? Why?"

"I'm leaving to Monaco."

"This can't wait to after Christmas?"

"I don't think I will be here than."

"What?"

"Just give it to her."

"Oh ok."

"Bye" I nodded at them.

"Bye Chuck."

Serena looked at Dan with worry. "You think he won't come back?" he asked.

"I'm afraid. I don't know what may happened. Blair looked happy with him. I didn't know she wanted to get back with Nate."

"Maybe she changed her mind or Chuck did something."

"Yes maybe. Dan…"

"Go."

"What?"

"I know you want to find her. So go."

She kissed him. "Thanks you're best boyfriend ever."

"I know. I wait here?"

"Ok. I'll be back soon." with last kiss Serena ran upstairs to find her best friend.


	2. Chapter 2

Story: "Don't leave me behind"

Author: ana-12.

Pairing: Chuck/Blair

Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip girl or used songs.

Summary: Chuck is going to leave New York for good after he saw Blair with Nate. Will Blair see who she really has butterflies for and what if it's too late?

Thanks for reviews! Love you guys :D I know the letter might not seem completely like something Chuck would write but he thinks he will probably never see her again so… And btw please check out my poll about my 2nd GG fic.

"_And I keep my jealousy close,  
'Cause it's all mine.  
And if you say this makes you happy,  
Then I'm not the only one lying."_

_"Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner" __Fall Out Boy_

Blair's Pov:

As the door closed after me and Nate I started to think what I'm doing. Few hours ago I was sure I'll just go with Nate, have fun like old times – not that we had much of it while we were together – and than spend the night in Chuck's suite. Just like I told him:

"_I don't like it that you're going with Nathaniel." He said as we were laying together after our make up._

"_I told you it's just as friends." really couldn't he see that?_

"_But he told me he wants you back."_

"_Why do you care so much? Are you jealous or something?" we're only sleeping together and he acts like I'm his few years girlfriend!_

"_Of course not. So I'll see you after Cotillion?" he sounded strange. Like he didn't like me dismissing idea of him being jealous. I mean he couldn't be. I get it that he was at my birthday when he thought he has butterflies but it disappeared by now for sure. _

"_Sure." After that we came back to our usual activities._

And everything was going good until Nate punched Carter. Than I came back and he was there. Did he really think I won't figure it out?

"_Where's Nate?"_

"_Nate was asked to leave, but here I am." _

"_I know that look. It's the look when your plan falls into place. You're enjoying this. You knew Carter was going to my house, you tipped off Gossip Girl... you ruined my Cotillion on purpose. You did all this for your own enjoyment and didn't care what it would do to me which is exactly why you and I could never work"_

I can't believe I was stupid enough to think he cared about me. I guess I just got what I should knew will happen. It was just a game for him, I bet he's fucking some whore right now. _Just like you're about to fuck Nate._ No. Nate and I will make love. I love Nate. I have to. It's not like Chuck loves me. He's Chuck Bass! He doesn't love anyone but himself. _He doesn't have butterflies, sleep with the same girl twice or buy jewelry either. _No it's impossible! I can't be in love with him! It was just fooling around. Than maybe it wasn't for him I thought when I remembered one night.

_After hours of our usual activities we were laying in Chuck's bed. His hands were running over my body, touching every place he could find. He has his face in my hair and was kissing my neck. I never took Chuck for cuddling after sex type. Then how could anyone if he dismissed girl five __minutes after? But I loved this new side of him and that I was the only one who got to seeing it. I heard him whisper something that sounded like"Don't leave me" but I couldn't be sure as I couldn't see his face. I asked him about it but he just kissed me again so I brushed it off._

Guess he really cared about what we had. Not that it matters anymore, because after this I'm sure he hates me. Well he should. I didn't even let him explain and ran to Nate without thinking twice. At this thought I pushed Nate away from me.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing I just don't think we should do this."

"What?" he asked confused. At least he had a reason for once.

"I just…" fortunately I didn't have to explain this to him since the doors opened and Serena burst in with hurry.

"S? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with Cabbage Patch?" I asked.

"Blair I have to talk with you."

"Sure." We stepped outside leaving Nate alone.

"What's going on S?"

"B you have to read this. I think Chuck's leaving for good." She handed me a letter.

"What are talking about S?" She couldn't be serious. Leaving? I knew he would most likely get drunk and high with some sluts but couldn't he do it here?

"Just read it I don't know exactly what he meant but it didn't sound good."

"Where is he?"

"He left ten minutes ago. I was with Dan when he gave me this so I ran to give you this but I couldn't find you anywhere."

I ripped it open quickly and started reading.

_Blair,_

_I don't know why I'm writing this. You probably won't even read it. Why would you? You have your dream life again and we both know I'm not in it. So why would you care about me? It's not like you ever really did and I can't blame you for it. My own father hates me and don't give a damn about me so why would someone perfect like you do? I'm just one big fuck up. But since I don't think I'll see you ever again (sorry don't think I'll make it to your wedding) I wanted to let you know that however unbelievable it seems ever for me I think that I love you. I think I do because I don't really know what it means. No one ever said it to me so how could I? But I love how you feel, I love your kisses, I love how you always challenge me and I loved our time together this past few weeks. And I would do everything to make you happy if you'd let me but I guess it's Nathaniel's job like it always was. I'm sure everything will play out just like you always wanted and don't worry I won't tell Nate anything. At least one of as will be happy. I bet you'd laugh at me if you'd ever read it. You'll be right I'm acting like some pathetic ex. Not that I am one. Ok I'll better end before I'll make more of a fool from myself._

_Chuck _

With each word I had more tears in my eyes. How could I be so stupid to not see what was right in front of me all this time? Guess it's right that you don't see what you had until you lose it. Now I won't even see him again. I can't just let it happen.

"Blair is everything ok?" I heard Serena ask.

Stupid Serena! Of course it isn't!

"I have to go S. Tell Nate something." I answered and started running towards exit.


	3. Chapter 3

Story: "Don't leave me behind"

Author: ana-12.

Pairing: Chuck/Blair

Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip girl or used songs.

Summary: Chuck is going to leave New York for good after he saw Blair with Nate. Will Blair see who she really has butterflies for and what if it's too late?

Here's next chapter and please review if you're reading I really want to know what you think. And if you have time read my oneshot "Missing Butterflies".

"_I forgot to say out loud  
How beautiful you really are to me,  
I can't be without  
You're my perfect little punching bag,  
And I need you  
I'm sorry__."_

"_Please don't leave me__" __Pink_

Chuck's Pov

After I gave Serena my letter I went to my suite to grab some things I will need most. I threw some clothes not even looking at them and went to my waiting limo.

"Where to Mr. Bass?"

I looked last time at Nate and Blair's photo in NYT and answered:

"The airport."

I remember when I found out she's having this thing in newspaper. I was so angry and jealous. So I made a scene in front of this stupid reporter and of course she was mad.

"_What__ was that?"_

" _I should ask you the same question. Perfect gentleman? Perfect date? That broken record was a hit last year. Get with the times, he bores you."_

" _You almost made a fool of me in front of the New York Times. Which proves my very point; you can't be trusted. Nate is a gentleman; he would never cause a scene."_

" _Never get your blood going, either."_

Sure he's perfect gentleman. Perfect date who sleeps with his date's best friend when they're together at the wedding. I didn't even notice that we're here. I had Arthur buy me ticket (first class of course – I'm not that desperate). As I went through the gate I thought I saw familiar chocolate curls. I really have to leave. I'm starting seeing her everywhere. It's sick. I was sleeping with her few weeks! I was going to go through the door when I heard someone calling my name. No it couldn't be. What would she be doing here? I started waking again but as I heard it again I turned around.

Blair's Pov

I ran to the cab and yelled at the driver to take me to the airport. I have to stop him. I just have to. How is it that now I realized that I need him? That he was always here. When Serena was away. When Nate was busy. He sat with me for hours when my dad had left. He watched my favourite movies with me even thought he hates it when I had been upset. He was always here to tell me I look beautiful when Nate would only look at perfect Serena or take me for dinner when Nate had stood me up again because of his never ending family problems which were mostly just excuse so he wouldn't have to spent time with me.

I jumped out of the car throwing money at the driver and ran to his terminal. I knew from Arthur who I called earlier which it is. I saw his form almost disappearing.

"Chuck!"

Please let him hear me. He stopped but after a while went ahead thinking probably that he imagined it. Not that I can blame him.

"Chuck!"

I yelled again and this time he turned around. He looked like he saw a ghost. He stood there most likely thinking what to do and I almost jumped from joy when he started walking towards me.

"What are you doing here? Don't tell me Nathaniel is that bad you had to find me to fuck you."

Ok I knew he will react like that and I deserved it but still it hurt. But now I have to convince him that I want him not Nate.

"I didn't sleep with Nate."

"And? I have a flight to catch so say what you have to and go back to your Prince."

"I don't want Nate."

"Well congratulations you're just like him. Can't decide much?"

God couldn't he see that I want him not anyone else?

"I want you. You're my Prince. I'm sorry I went back to Nate I was just angry at you for destroying my Cotillion. And Serena gave me your letter so I know you want me too."

He seemed to think about it as he was quiet for few moments.

"Well I'm going. You can go with me."

Is he crazy or something? I can't leave everything and just go to Monaco. Things like that happen only in Chuck Bass's world.

"Chuck you know I can't just leave. Please if what you wrote in this letter is true don't go."

"It is true. But I can't stay if it isn't true for you too and I know it isn't"

"What? I said I want you not Nate."

"Exactly. You WANT me but you don't love me. You never did and I knew it so don't worry I didn't have any wrong images. But I'm not going to stay here just so you would have your fuck buddy. No worries thought I'm sure you'll find new one soon."

"But I…"

"Do you? ... Love me?"

I know I do so why can't I say it? If Chuck Bass could I can for sure too! I said it like million times to Nate for god's sake and what I feel for Chuck is so much stronger. Come on Blair! Say it and you'll have him forever!

"I…"

He waited for few moments but I knew I wouldn't be able to do it.

"Yeah. Bye Blair."

"But you will be back right?"

He looked me in the eyes then and I knew he wouldn't be back after Christmas break. I had tears in my eyes as he kissed me probably last time and disappeared. All I could do was just standing there and watch empty space after last passengers made their way inside. After fifteen minutes security guard asked me if everything's ok. Of course it wasn't! I just lost what might been the love of my life and he ask if everything's ok? But instead of telling him this I nodded and went home to spend all night crying. Good thing my mother isn't home.


	4. Chapter 4

Story: "Don't leave me behind"

Author: ana-12.

Pairing: Chuck/Blair

Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip girl or used songs.

Summary: Chuck is going to leave New York for good after he saw Blair with Nate. Will Blair see who she really has butterflies for and what if it's too late?

Thanks for reviews! I love to know you're reading and it makes me want to write more sooner.

"_An would u like it if i put u into my world  
There's broken hearts in basements  
An broken love on the streets  
You were so fed up of it all always involving me__"_

"_Do You Wanna__" __Kooks_

Chuck's Pov

It had to be done. Of course it had. I made right decision. She couldn't say it and she'll be better off with Nathaniel. She'll forget about me and she will be happy. I want her to be happy but I couldn't stay. It's for the better. Than why can't I stop thinking about her? The look on her face when I told her I'm leaving. Why did she have to cry? She should know it's for the better that I did it for her. Why did she have to change her mind and want me when everything had been going with her plan? But she will forget I'm sure. If I could just do the same. I should know you can't just forget Blair Waldorf and this new free Blair Waldorf is impossible to forget. Why do I have to think about her all the time? I'm in Monaco where usually I would be laying drunk with few girls on beach by now and where am I now? I'm drunk for sure but instead at the beach or in club I'm laying in bed alone for second day which makes it all time since I arrived.

With that thought I got up from my bed which looks like one big mess not that I'm any better I thought as I looked in the mirror. I haven't showered or changed clothes since Cotillion morning. Oh God why I'm thinking about this day again? I can't think about it. It's the day when new Chuck Bass who actually cared about something besides himself disappeared. That is definitely for the best. This new Chuck Bass who actually let himself do unacceptable and fall in love with a girl and if that's not enough his best friend's girl was just weak. And everyone knows Chuck Bass is anything but weak. And it wasn't even that good so I decided to take Blair's advice (better late than never) and murder these damn butterflies. Yes that's it. Time to say goodbye to new Chuck for good and bring back old womanizing asshole Chuck Bass. And where's better place to do that than Monaco?

After half and hour I was ready to go out. I showered, put on one of my suit pants and purple shirt (even far away I liked to think it would piss my father off) and called a maid to clean my suite. I walked down to a hotel bar and ordered a scotch. I had it immediately since I'm owner's son. Something good from being Bart Bass's son I thought with irony. I started looking around to find my slut for tonight. I saw petite brunette in the corner. Not this time. Try never. No more brunettes. Pull yourself together Bass! You're going to screw some hot chick and instead you're thinking about her again! Just find someone already! Red head at the table in the middle. That will be fine. I was going to approach her when I felt someone next to me so I turned around. Tall blonde with pink lips and seductive smile. Nothing similar to chocolate curls or bloody red lips. Short coverings almost nothing dress with almost non existing straps. Nothing like classy beautiful dresses and skirts. Perfect. I could do with that. I used to enjoy blondes. I gave her my best 'I want to fuck you right now' smirk and shoved my tongue down her throat. I felt strawberry lipstick and some fruit drink. As I continued kissing my new conquest I couldn't stop thinking about cheery and champagne. Headbands and limos. I used to like strawberry so I'll just stop thinking about cherry. It's simple. One night with blonde and I will be over Blair Waldorf for good. So I pulled her to me and started walking to my suite.

Blair's Pov

I heard noise downstairs and after a while someone's steps on stairs. I figured it's probably Serena. I knew she would come because how long could I stop her from doing it? Hopefully she will be gone soon. It's easy. Few smiles and 'I'm okay' and she will go away to the next time. I'm already surprised she waited two days when usually she would be here right after reading gossip girl's post about soaking Blair Waldorf walking on the streets at midnight on Cotillion night instead of dancing with her date. Nate. That's another problem. I'll have to talk with him too. But as I continued to lay in my bed I couldn't get myself to get up and do anything other than thinking about him. Like I was doing for past two days. I send Dorota away to my mother return next month because I couldn't stand her worried looks when I just want to be alone. I watched my phone vibrating again but I didn't even bother to check it. Another gossip girl blast or text from Nate and minions. Of course nothing from him. I bet he doesn't have time between all of his whores to call me.

But why would he? He showed me it's over for good. So if he could just move on why can't I? Because it's my fault. Because really it is as much as I would like to not think that. I had gone back to Nate and I couldn't tell him I love him so why should I be surprised that he left? I would leave him too if he would even think of doing any of it. I should just pull myself together and forget about this since it's not like I can do anything now. It shouldn't be that difficult since he isn't here and nobody knew about us only Serena and Humphrey. But I just can't! I can't even think about getting back together with Nate and pretending I'm in happy fairy tale.

I heard Serena calling my name and after a while she walked in. Of course she had worried look on her face as she sat down next to me.

"Blair you should dress and go out."

No shit genius. Sure I know I should do that.

"I'm fine S. It's Christmas break so I decided to stay in instead of going out today."

"B I know you're upset about Chuck so why don't you just tell me about it and than we can go shopping or watch Breakfast at Tiffany's?"

She really can't get it can she?

"I'm ok Serena. Me and Chuck are over for good and I don't want to talk about it so if that's all you can go. I'm sure Cabbage Patch is waiting."

"Blair I'm your best friend and I know you're not ok. Come on you can tell me anything. It can't be that bad. I'm sure we can think of something to make it ok together."

"We can't S! It's really over!"

And than I started crying. I really didn't want to show her I'm not fine but I couldn't stop it. She just hugged me and I told her everything.

"So you see we can't do anything. He's gone for good."

"You don't know that B. You know Chuck how he gets when he's upset and do things without thinking. He will be back sooner than you think."

"No I know he won't this time. I saw it in his eyes."

"So we will bring him back."

"Sure S. We just go there and throw him in the car and than bring him back to New York. Sorry I didn't think of it sooner." I rolled my eyes. Really could she be more naive? "Even if I would go there he wouldn't want to see me."

"You don't know that. He had time to calm down and think things over. You just have to show him you love him and you will be both happy back home before New Year."

Maybe she's right. Maybe I should go. Sitting her and crying over myself won't help me. That's it. I'm going to get him back and bring him home even if I will have to force him to do that.

"Ok help me pack S I have a plane to catch."

Chuck's Pov

I opened the door and thrown her on my bed already made up by maid when I had been gone. While taking her dress away I couldn't stop thinking how wrong it feels. I wasn't excited by her sluty lingerie and as I ripped it off of her all I could think about was soft slip and her delicate skin. Focus Bass! You have naked, hot chick under you and instead of fucking her you're thinking about other girl who doesn't really want you. Not like you want her. No like you wanted her. Did not do. It's all in the past. So I focused on moaning and kissing me blonde whose name didn't matter to me. It's just next whore. Not first not last. It will be a lot of sluts in my future. And no Blair Waldorf bullshit anymore. I grabbed her rougher and fucked her. Because I'm Chuck Bass and that's what I do. After I ended with her I just left to bathroom pointing at the doors and heard them closing loud after a minute. I did what old Chuck would do so why I'm not feeling better? No wanting to think about it I just ended my bottle of scotch and passed out on the bed again without taking my clothes off.


	5. Chapter 5

Story: "Don't leave me behind"

Author: ana-12.

Pairing: Chuck/Blair

Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip girl or used songs.

Summary: Chuck is going to leave New York for good after he saw Blair with Nate. Will Blair see who she really has butterflies for and what if it's too late?

Sorry it's late but I was busy and now I'm sick, my head is killing me but I got myself to write something for you guys. Thanks for reading and please review.

"_And the truth is  
I miss you  
Yeah the truth is  
I miss you so  
And I'm tired  
I should not have let you go__"_

_"__Warning Sign__" Coldplay_

Blair's Pov

I sighed as I finally fallen on my seat. I spent last few hours on packing and driving with Serena to the airport. After twenty minutes of convincing their stuff that I have to get on this plane I'm finally here. Now I have to only find a way to convince Chuck to come back because there's no way I'm staying in Monaco for the rest of my life. That is it since I am not letting him go once I'll have him back. And I will. I'm not flying to Monaco in the middle in my Christmas break instead of spending it with my father and his lover - though I'm grateful for this part - to come back with nothing. No way.

And like it's not enough Nate had to come just when I was leaving.

_"Nate what are you doing here?"_

_"I wanted to talk. Serena told me you will explain to me why you disappeared so quickly last time."_

_Great. Couldn't she think of something better? What should I tell him? Sorry Nate I'm in love with your best friend and I'm just going to meet with him and hopefully we will sleep together AGAIN soon? Sure._

_"Sorry about that Nate I just hadn't felt well and Serena told me my mother wanted to see me. I have to go with her to France and as you see I was just leaving so I don't have time."_

_"But we're ok right?"_

_"Sure. We're friends."_

_"I thought we're back together after Cotillion."_

_Leave it to Nate to think that._

_"I'm not sure we should do it again Nate. Friends sounds good."_

_"Oh. But you will think about it while you're away and we can talk again when you'll be back."_

_God why now he wants me so much? I don't get this guy sometimes. Well most of time._

_"Ok Nate I will. I really have to go now. Bye!"_

_"Bye Blair." He kissed me on the cheek and left as Serena came downstairs._

_"What did he want?"_

_"To know what happened since you had told him I will explain to him."_

_"Sorry B, I didn't know what to say."_

_"That doesn't matter anymore S. I got rid of him for now and we have to go." I grabbed her hand and we left penthouse._

Fortunately my mother is in France so I didn't have to make that up too. I should be flying there to meet with her and dad but I managed to convince her I want to stay in New York with Van der Woodsens. I'm really tried so I decided to let myself sleep and think what I'll do when I will be there.

Chuck's Pov

It really feels like old times I thought as I woke up with big hangover. It is like old times but I don't feel like it is. Normally I would feel satisfied and I'd be busy getting ready for next night and ending next bottle though it's not bad idea. I took a swing from my almost empty scotch and get myself in the shower. After I dressed I went back to the bar and started check my phone. Several calls form Serena and Blair. Can't they leave me alone for a day? One message from Nate. Sorry I'm not in the mood yet maybe after few more drinks. And of course none from my dear father. I should really expect that, it usually takes him two weeks to spot I'm not in town.

I felt a hand on my shoulder as strong smell of vodka hit me.

"You're free?"

I turned back and saw red head form last night looking at me with drunken hungry eyes.

"Sorry I think I'll pass."

"You're loss."

'I'm sure' I thought when she left. Really it shouldn't be that difficult to come back to my old self. I changed into this lovesick Chuck in one night and now I'm here second day and nothing. I'm not in the mood for next girl or party. With a sigh I stood up and left to go back to my suite. I don't have to pay since it's my father hotel. That's the life of Chuck Bass. Instead of Christmas gifts and bedroom stories you get free access to alcohol and entry to ever party you want. I ended a bottle I left earlier and go to sleep again.

I woke up few hours later to knocking on my door. What the hell I thought. I looked at my cell phone and saw it's three. Who would need anything for me at night in Monaco? I didn't even know anyone here. I got up and went to open. It has to be some fucking joke I thought when I saw who is standing there. Or it's some weird dream.

"Waldorf? What are you fucking doing here?"

She stared at me with her almost as dark as my eyes which held now fear, hope, determination and love?

"I need to talk to you."

"And that's the reason you're in my suite at three a.m.? In Monaco?"

Is she high or something?

"Yes. I had to come to tell you something important."

"So just say it and let me go back to bed."

Doesn't she know I can't focus when I've just woken up? Thought maybe she chose to come now because of that so I wouldn't kick her out like I should when I saw her. Instead I just continue to stand here and watch her trying to decide what to do. Shouldn't she think about it before she came? Finally she decided to speak I think since she opened her mouth and said something that made my eyes widen.

"I love you."


	6. Chapter 6

Story: "Don't leave me behind"

Author: ana-12.

Pairing: Chuck/Blair

Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip girl or used songs.

Summary: Chuck is going to leave New York for good after he saw Blair with Nate. Will Blair see who she really has butterflies for and what if it's too late?

Yay quick update! I felt bad I left in that moment so I had to write quickly. Thanks for reviews – they really made me happy. I'm not sure how many more chapters I will write, probably 2-3 but we'll see :)

_"Hold my head inside your hands  
I need someone who understands.  
I need someone__, someone who hears  
For you, I've waited all these years."_

_"__Till Kingdom Come" Coldplay_

Blair's Pov

I can't believe I just said to Chuck Bass that I'm in love with him. God and what with my plan? My brilliant idea how win him back. Instead of come here and try to be friends and then give him a hint that I feel something to him so this way I wouldn't risk getting hurt like I know he can hurt me, I'd just knocked at his door and said it. Just like that. And now I'm waiting. And he looks like he's going to have panic attack.

"What did you say?" I heard him ask.

Great. Now he's making me repeat it so he can crush me easier.

"I said that I love you. I love you. I'm in love with you. I don't want Nate or anyone else and it's true so don't start with your speech again because it's not true. I know I shouldn't go to Nate without letting you explain anything and I'm really sorry about it and I'm sorry I didn't tell you how I feel at the airport but I came here to say it and I'd do anything to make things like they were before... Do you think we can come back there?"

Ok this is it. I gave myself to Chuck Bass and he can do with me anything he wants.

"I don't think so."

I felt like someone just ripped my heart in million small pieces. I know it sounds stupid but I don't care. I really believed we can make it right.

"Oh... ok. I'll just go."

Bravo Blair you screwed up next thing. Probably best thing in your life. I turned around and started going towards the elevator. I'll just get a cab, go back home and continue living my hopeless life. Yes I Blair Waldorf don't even want shame to get revenge on Chuck. God he destroyed me completely. I was almost inside when I heard steps and him calling me.

"Blair wait!"

And what could he have to tell now? Can't he understand I want to be alone?

"Yes Bass? I understand you can't forgive me so I'll just go and leave you to your scotch and sluts. Have a wonderful life."

"Blair you don't understand! I said we can't go back to before because I don't want it to be like before. I don't want to be your dirty secret. I don't want to sneak around so no one would see. I don't want to pretend that I don't care about you, that I'm not jealous when you dance with other guys. I want to hold your hand and kiss you for everyone to see that you are my girlfriend."

Am I delusional? Or did just Chuck Bass say he wants me to be his girlfriend?

"You want to be my boyfriend?"

"Well if you want to..."

Yes! Yes yes yes! Thank you whoever is up there!

"If you're asking..."

He just smiled and I couldn't stop myself anymore so I myself on him and kissed him with everything I feel. As he kissed me back I couldn't think of anything other than I'm kissing Chuck Bass my boyfriend. That's right he belongs to me now.

When we finally had to break apart to take a break he took my hand and led me back to his suite.

"So what do you say I show you my bedroom?"

I nodded and kissed him again. We continued to kiss as we walked to his bedroom and then he pulled me on the bed with him. I got lost in the feeling of his lips on my body. Chuck started to take off my shirt and bra at the same time kissing my chest and down my stomach. I moaned when he kissed my right breast and sucked my nipple. After he was done with the second he got rid of my skirt leaving me in my panties. While he continued licking and kissing my thighs I freed him from his clothes. I started to kiss his chest in the way I know he loves and he took my panties off. Then he kissed me a few more times and looked me in the eyes as he positioned himself between my legs.

"I love you."

It was amazing to hear it again, to know he still loves me after all that happened.

"I love you too."

I said back and screamed his name as he entered me. I love this man I thought before I couldn't think before anything besides the pleasure I felt.


	7. Chapter 7

Story: "Don't leave me behind"

Author: ana-12.

Pairing: Chuck/Blair

Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip girl or used songs.

Summary: Chuck is going to leave New York for good after he saw Blair with Nate. Will Blair see who she really has butterflies for and what if it's too late?

Thanks everyone who reviewed I love you guys! :) Here is new chapter, hope you'll like it. I started new fic which is series of oneshots and it's called Sparks so please check it out too. Ok end of the rant.

_"__Everyone knows I'm in  
Over my head  
Over my head  
With eight seconds left in overtime  
She's on your mind  
She's on your mind__"_

_"Over My Head"__ The Fray_

Chuck's Pov

I woke up to light shining on my face and strange feeling of peace. What the hell I didn't feel this way since I came here. Than I opened my eyes and saw her sprawled on my bed next to me. Naked. And then all came back to me. Blair on my doorstep, Blair saying she loves me, Blair walking away, me going after her, us making love and me saying her that I love her too. It really happened. It wasn't just one of my dreams or how I would call them back then nightmares. I looked at her again and saw she had turned so she's now facing me when I was lost in my thoughts.

She's really most beautiful girl in the world. Sexiest, smartest and just perfect... and I'm whipped. God what she had done with me? And I can't even say I regret it. This time in Monaco proved I don't want to go back to my asshole self. Not that I'm not an ass anymore. But I want to be better for her. If only my father heard that. Even he would laugh and he never does it. Doesn't smile and most certainly doesn't laugh.

I feel so good I can't even brig myself to think about all the things I'm sure I will do to screw it up. I mean come on I am Chuck Bass, check screw up in dictionary and you'll get my name. I don't want to think about it now. I don't want to think about what will Nate, my father, her mother, all this stupid minions (not that what they think mean something for me but I know for Blair it does) will say. They will be angry for sure, maybe disappointment that such a great young lady with possibilities to become Mrs. Archibald in the future is dating Chuck Bass from all of people. That's ridiculous even for me but I'm going to let her go that easy again now that she's really my. Yep still can't believe it.

I move closer to her and place my arm around her slim waist. Her hair tickles my face and I can smell her vanilla shampoo again. I could lay like that with her for hours just taking her all in. She starts to move slightly and her eyelids flutter. I smile when she finally opens her eyes and I can see their deep brown colour only little lighter than my. She gives me a shy smile too and I can't wait anymore so I kiss her. I didn't have time to think about it last night when I was kissing her frantically but now I can taste it again. Her lips taste just like I remembered. Cherry. I so don't want a strawberry ever again.

When we pull away to take a breath she places her hands around my neck and whispers 'Good Morning'. And it is. It's best morning in my life if you want to know.

'Morning. Slept well?' I ask because I want to know she had at least half that good sleep like I.

'Mmm... amazing.' I can't help it but smile and pull her tighter and kiss her nose playfully.

'That's good princess. Hungry?' I know we both secretly love it when I call her that even when she sometimes pretend to be mad about it.

'Starving.' She replies and rolls us over so she's straddling me. 'But not for food.' She adds with a smirk and places her lips on my again.

Blair's Pov

I thought how really happy I am as we lay in each other arms second time this morning. I would never believe someone last of all Chuck Bass can make you fell so good. I seriously don't want it to ever end and it won't. I got Chuck to be a boyfriend! After that nothing is impossible for me. I felt my stomach rumbling and I remembered I ate last time before I went to catch a plan which was yesterday afternoon. I took my head from his chest and set up to find Chuck looking at me with a smile. I never saw him smiling so much and I love it that I make him that happy. He pulled up too and started kissing my neck and I had to use a lot of strength to pull away.

'I'm hungry.' I said and he smirked this sexy smirk of his I missed when we were apart.

'That soon? You want to kill me.' He answered at the same time running his hands over my thighs.

'For food Basshole.' I said smacking his shoulder.

'Mmm too bad than.' My boyfriend replied and gave me a peck on the lips. I shook my head and got up quickly before he had a chance to catch me.

'Call room service.' I told him before I went to take a shower.

I stood under hot water when I heard his voice as he was most likely doing as I told him. I've just end washing my hair when I felt his arm around my waist and he pulled me to him from behind.

'Did you order a breakfast?'

'Yes but it won't be here for next fifteen minutes.' He mumbled between kisses he was placing on my nape.

'Than I guess we could use it to other activities.' I said and turned around. I brought his lips to my and forgot anything about being hungry for next half and hour we spent in the shower not caring a bit about knocking room service.

* * *

After we ate our pancakes, which Chuck ordered, we ended up in the bad again this time watching one of my favourities - Roman Holiday. I put my head on his chest and he played with my hair. I was thinking if now that we're ok, even better than ok, he will come back to New York. I love just being with him here and not really doing anything all day but I know we can't just stay here forever. Well maybe he can but I have to finish school and do it great to get into Yale. I'm not even sure he wants to go to college. I could end a year online too if it was our last but I in no way can do the next this way too if I think of going to any good college not mentioning Yale. I can just hope he would be more willing to go back now.

'Chuck?' I started placing my chin on his chest to see his face.

'Yes princess?' He asked turning his eyes on me from screen.

'I was thinking...' I couldn't bring myself to say it when it could mess everything up again.

'Come on Blair you know you can tell me anything.' He said and gave me an encouraging smile.

'I know. I want to talk with you because... youknowIcan'tstayhereforever.' I spilled out on one breath.

'Calm down baby and just tell me what's wrong.' My heart melted when I heard him. I love when he's sweet with me.

'Listen Chuck. I love you and I want to be with you but you know I can't just stay here with you forever. I would really love to but I have to come back and finish school and besides my mother would never let me.' While I was taking he sat with unreadable expression on his face.

'Ok.' I stared at him and waited but he didn't say anything else. Finally I couldn't take it anymore.

'Ok? That means you will come back with me?'

* * *

Sorry I couldn't stop myself :) I'll try to update soon. Please review.


	8. Chapter 8

Story: "Don't leave me behind"

Author: ana-12.

Pairing: Chuck/Blair

Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip girl or used songs.

Summary: Chuck is going to leave New York for good after he saw Blair with Nate. Will Blair see who she really has butterflies for and what if it's too late?

Hey! Here is new chapter and there is one chapter left after this one. If you have time read my new Christmas oneshots: 'Christmas Spirit' and 'Christmas Time'. Thanks for all reviews it means everything to me that you like it :) 'Sparks' update will be late as I have a lot of tests and homework since it's end of my first semester but I will have more time on Christmas.

_"I don't want this moment to ever end,  
Where everything's nothing without you.  
I'd wait here forever just to, to see you smile,  
'Cause it's true, I am nothing without you."_

_"With me" Sum 41_

Blair's Pov

_'Listen Chuck. I love you and I want to be with you but you know I can't just stay here with you forever. I would really love to but I have to come back and finish school and besides my mother would never let me.' While I was taking he sat with unreadable expression on his face._

_'Ok.' I stared at him and waited but he didn't say anything else. Finally I couldn't take it anymore._

_'Ok? That means you will come back with me?'_

I looked at him and thought that in few seconds everything will be clear. I decided I don't really want him to answer. Maybe I should ask him later when I will really have to go back because now it would sure be amazing if he will say he will go back with me to New York and we'll be together. But what if he really wants to stay here and then it will be over because as much as I would love to do it with him I know better and there is no way I could go with it. First I have school and second my mother would rather let me modeling for her new collection than move to Monaco and live with Chuck Bass in his father's hotel. She hates new money and everything that is Bart Bass.

I stopped thinking about Eleanor and looked back at Chuck, still my boyfriend for I hope more than five seconds. Finally he spoke.

'Sure.' That's it. It's officially over and all of this was for nothing. Stupid Blair and her illusions... wait! Did he say 'sure'?! Like 'sure I will come back with you'? I stared at him with big eyes for a minute and he looked at me with amusement.

'Wait! What happened to I will live here forever?' I asked and feeling frustrated when he has just continued to smirk at me. Come on I have almost had a heart attack and he's smirking stupidly? Still it is sexy not that I would ever say him this I'm not that crazy yet.

'Well?' I wanted to know again.

'That was before.' Finally some words but can't he just get it out? Seriously he better get it together or I will kill him sooner than later. I have to go look for his scarf. It will seriously be perfect – Chuck Bass strangled with his signature scarf by his first in his life girlfriend. Sure it will confirm his theory about never having relationships, only one night stands.

'Could you just say it?' I said quiet but using my voice that scared all of the girls in school off. But of course it never works on him and all I got was another sexy but annoying smirk.

'Fine. I wanted to stay here so I wouldn't have to watch you and Nathaniel go all lovely dovely on each other as what I saw on Cotillion was enough to make me sick whenever I think about it. But now that you are _my_ not _his_ girlfriend I can go back to New York. Enough?' I knew he left because of me but still it made my heart beat faster as he said it again. I mean Nate would never leave a town because he lost me. He would just move on to the next girl or try to get Serena again.

'Yes it is. Thanks Chuck I really didn't want to go back alone.' And that was true.

'Like I would let you.' He replayed and brought me closer again. I kissed him lightly and quickly he depended the kiss running his hands all over my body. It really always amazes me how he can find new place he had never touched before and I didn't know it ever existed each time. With the number of times we did it he should run out of them by now. He was now kissing me down my neck and to my chest and I stroked his dark hair with my one hand and put the other on his back. He lifted my shirt and kissed my stomach tickling me with his hands. I laughed and took his head in my hands to kiss his lips again. He murmured when my tongue met with his. I guess we will end watching this movie later. Much later.

* * *

Next three days were spend familiar to first one as all we really did was watching movies though I don't remember most of them as Chuck always found a way to distract me and making love. We ordered food in as I didn't really bring any clothes that would be suitable for the restaurants near the hotel. Looking at the things I have in my suitcase now I think I really had to be out of my mind in the moment I packed as it was a lot of not matching shirts and skirts mostly ones I don't even wear anymore.

It was Sunday when we decided it's time to go home as I got a call from my father that he would make it for Christmas after all. We were driving in the limo holding hands, which I would never think I see Chuck does all of it with me but I only smiled when he nervously took my hand when we walked out of the hotel, when I remembered that along with my dad and Serena, who I missed and couldn't wait to see, there will also Nate what I knew from a text he sent me yesterday that said he wanted to talk with me. I'm sure he did. The problem is I don't want to talk with him and tell him I'm in love with his best friend. I decided to worry tomorrow and just moved closer to my boyfriend who kissed my head putting his arm around my waist.

We didn't really talk much during the flight back as I had spent it mainly sleeping since I was tried after last night when Chuck hadn't let me sleep too much. I really don't how he keeps up after all this years but he _is_ Chuck Bass after all. And I am Blair Waldorf so I can't be worse though I remember falling asleep between round three and four and I'm sure he will call me for it later.

We parted outside my building with last kiss and Chuck's promise to come tomorrow before other guests so we will have some time alone. I didn't really like waking up this morning alone for the first time since Cotillion disaster I decided as I sit in my bedroom, after I made sure that everything is ready for my mom's party tonight, waiting for Bass who should be here in few minutes. Just then I heard steps on the stairs and moment later he walked in with a smile.

**Please review and tell me what you think.**


	9. Chapter 9

Story: "Don't leave me behind"

Author: ana-12.

Pairing: Chuck/Blair

Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip girl or used songs.

Summary: Chuck is going to leave New York for good after he saw Blair with Nate. Will Blair see who she really has butterflies for and what if it's too late?

Hi here's new update and last chapter of this fic. I'm going to start new soon so check it out when it will show but I will be still continuing 'Sparks' and 'Season of love' is on hiatus for now as I don't really like writing it at this moment.

_"But there is not enough time,  
And there is no, no song I could sing  
And there is no, combination of words I could say  
But I will still tell you one thing  
We're better together."_

_"Better Together" Jack Johnson_

Chuck's Pov

I woke up today with a thought I would see Blair soon. I really shouldn't get so attached to her but I couldn't help it but feel excited by knowing she's mine now and I can call her or kiss her anytime I want. I wanted everyone to know we're together and I really hoped she wants it too as I'm not going to be her little dirty secret anymore. I told her I loved her for God's sake! Sure she can tell her minions she's my girlfriend now. But I had to admit I am little nervous about telling Nathaniel as he will most likely never speak to me again. I will lose my best friend over the girl I love but really I guess I made this decision when I kissed her back in my limo first night. Because there really was no way Archibald would not find out no matter what Blair believed at the beginning.

When it was time to go I put on my scarf which I left here because of the rush I was in and I couldn't believe I was that upset I didn't notice it missing until I came back yesterday. I grabbed my jacket and walked down to my waiting limo. I got lost in the thoughts about Blair on my way to her place and after few minutes I was in the elevator to her penthouse. I didn't see anyone downstairs so I went to her bedroom and smiled at her sight, she sat on her bed, where we spend so many moments in the last few weeks, in gorgeous blue dress that matched my bowtie with her brown curls falling down her back.

'You look beautiful.' I said and closed the space between us.

'Thanks.' She replayed with a smile and I couldn't wait longer so I pulled her to me and kissed her hard. I love the taste of her perfect red lips. She put her arms around me and I moved my hands from her hips to run them through her curls. Finally we broke apart at the sound of elevator which meant her dad and Roman arrived.

I saw her smiling and she quickly took my hand and dragged me with her downstairs. When Blair spotted Harold she was in his hug within five seconds. I didn't notice Roman anywhere. When they pulled away she grabbed my hand again and spoke to her dad. Here we go with meeting parent I thought even though I met Harold several times before.

'Daddy you know Chuck. He is my new boyfriend.' She said and I was relieved to see him smiling.

'Nice to see you again Charles.' We shook hands and moved to the living room where Dorota brought coffee.

'You too Mr. Waldorf.' I replayed and sat with Blair on the couch putting my arm around her waist while her father took a place in the armchair.

'Where's Roman?' She asked the thing I was curious about since we walked down.

'He has a meeting with a fashion company here so he will join us later.' I saw Blair's face fall a little but she held her smile so her dad didn't notice anything.

'That's great! I want Chuck to meet him he's really great you'll see.' He turned to look at me and I noticed anger in her eyes at the thought of sharing her daddy with his boyfriend. 'Sorry daddy mom called this morning and we have to prepare some things for the party tonight so we will see you later.' I heard her say and I knew it was just a lie to get out as everything was ready for Eleanor's arrival. Harold nodded and we went to her bedroom.

Once inside Blair fell on the bed with a huff. I quickly went and sat next to her. She tugged on my hand and I landed on top of her looking in her dark eyes. I kissed her nose and stroked her hair.

'We have to get rid of my dad lover.' She said pulling me even closer to her so there was no space left between us. I thought about it for a moment and after one small peck on her lips replayed.

'We could do that. I'm sure we can come up with great plan like we always do but do you really want to do it?' I noticed she wanted to say something, probably scoff at me for even asking, so I brought one finger to her lips quickly to silence her. 'I know you don't like him but we both know your dad won't move back in with your mother even if he will lose Roman. And besides won't it be better to enjoy Christmas with him when he's here instead of shaming when it can blow off in our faces?' She seemed to think about it and then gave me annoyed expression from which I knew she doesn't want to admit I'm right.

'You may be right.' She said so quiet I had to bent down to hear her.

'Excuse me? You were saying something?' I asked with a smirk. I love it when I'm right.

'Stop being smarmy.' She said smacking my chest. I rolled my eyes and brought her hand form my chest to kiss her fingers.

'That's why you love me.' I knew I was right when she smiled a little smile and kissed my cheek. 'And I love you too.' I added kissing her forehead.

We have just laid here for some time kissing from time to time until it was time to go downstairs. We talked with some friends of Eleanor when I spotted him exiting the elevator looking around for my girlfriend I guessed. I went to Blair and took her to the side where no one could see us.

'Nathaniel's here.' I told her the moment we stepped in the corner. She looked at me and seemed afraid for a moment but then she just nodded.

'Ok.' I knew I did it before but really now wasn't the time for this.

'Ok?' It was my turn to ask this question. She stared at me for a moment and I was going to tell her to stop this game and tell me what we are going to do.

'Ok. We will go now and tell him we're together.' Ok. We just go and tell him. It's easy. Only it's not really. But I wasn't going to complain when she was ready to tell everyone I'm her boyfriend. So now I nodded and we started walking in my soon to be ex best friend direction. He spotted us and smiled. Oh my God I hoped he won't punch me in front of Blair's father now he seemed to like me. Finally we were next to him.

'Hi Nate.' I was relieved when Blair started talking as I wasn't sure I will be able to.

'Hi. I'm glad you came back earlier after all.' Wait a moment and you won't be I thought.

'Yeah me too.' She said. 'We have to tell you something. Now don't think we cheated on you or something because we were broken up when it started.' Archibald just stood here staring at us and I couldn't believe he's that naive to don't realize his ex girlfriend just admitted to screwing his best friend.

'What started?' I almost rolled my eyes.

'Chuck and I. We're together.' His eyes widened and he was going to throw himself on me but Waldorf quickly grabbed his arm.

'Please Nate we're at my mother's party. Everyone is here and really we didn't do anything wrong.' Sure I had just taken his girlfriend of something like ten years twenty minutes after he broke up with her. Really it's nothing when you think about it.

But he seemed to listen to her and only sent me a glare, which meant to scare me I supposed, and walked out. Looking after him I knew we will be fine one day. I looked at Blair unsure but she just smiled and hugged me. I pulled back a little to look her in the eyes.

'We're ok?' I asked to be sure. She gave me bigger smile and kissed my lips.

'We're ok.' I smiled back and kissed her softly. We're ok and everything else will work out one way or another.

**Thanks so much for reading it and reviewing through all of the time I was writing it. It was fun and I'm so happy I managed to finish my first multi chaptered fic. Thanks again and leave me your ****thoughts about this chapter and all fic.**


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